Hell Inn: Rebirth - I Became a Chef in Hell

Chapter 133 The Gaze of a Yellow Dwarf Star - S01 E05

"...What are you laughing at again? Should I take these laughs as rude mockery?"

You could tell from Alastor's tone that he was clearly unhappy.

You often laugh like that, but I've never seen Alastor specifically bring it up like this time...

Ah, so it seems you've really hit a nerve with some devil this time?

A slight sense of schadenfreude arose in your heart.

To be honest, you've been tormented by Alastor for quite a while now, so saying something to him won't hurt you.

You were originally going to ask if a certain radio demon had gotten angry because of your few words.

But thinking about it carefully, given Alastor's vengeful nature, if you actually asked that question, it might never end...

So it might be better to end this topic here for now.

As you thought this, you silently nodded to yourself.

"Did you hear that song?"

You, who hadn't given Alastor a direct answer, suddenly asked this question out of the blue.

"...?"

It's obvious the broadcasting demon didn't expect you to suddenly ask this question.

You see his eyes widen, and a distinct pause comes from his throat.

He did not directly answer your question in response to your statement.

The broadcasting demon raised one eyebrow, a hint of obvious doubt showing on his always smiling face.

"As you can probably tell, I don't like singing."

"Because I'm not good at expressing myself through singing."

You didn't make time to care about his confusion.

The dragon girl simply gazed quietly at the elder who was holding her, and gently recounted her thoughts.

"To be honest... just the fact that I can't sing seems to be the reason why I can't fit into this hell."

"I sometimes find it funny."

"Although you're probably the kind of devil who doesn't care about these things, I think as a smart person you should understand my situation and know that I'm going to face trouble."

"You should know better than anyone that I have to deal with far more than what you and I have seen."

"I never thought I would one day feel tired because I can't sing... Ah... But in reality, I've even been deprived of the right to say I'm tired."

As you were speaking, your voice suddenly lowered.

Because you suddenly realize that you seem to have a slight urge to escape.

But you understand that you are probably the only one in the entire world who absolutely cannot have such thoughts.

Therefore, while feeling exhausted, you also experience a deep sense of self-blame and the pain of feeling unworthy of your position.

The fact that ordinary people are endowed with divinity is already a form of punishment.

An excessive amount of information and a sensitive, guilty conscience will only trap you in a cycle of self-blame.

But reality doesn't make things easy for you.

Because while enduring all of this, you are not only not in your own hometown, but you have also fallen into the end of all evil in a foreign land.

You accept your fate, you rebel, but now you feel that even the slightest self-pity will be criticized as melodramatic.

This feeling of isolation and helplessness is not only the biggest reason why He takes advantage of your vulnerability, but also the reason why you feel so exhausted that you fall down and it takes a lot of courage to get up.

But what will happen to those vulnerable children if you can't stand up?

What if the people and things you are determined to protect are bullied in the future?

Just thinking about that possibility makes you tremble with anger.

...You must try your best and live on at all costs.

Because your mission is far from over, because you cannot fall down... Since everything has already been decided, why should you consider so much of the inevitable suffering?

……

...But...at least now the high-rise building has collapsed.

You just want to know if you can get a little more sleep while the skyscrapers are being rebuilt.

"I still want to hesitate a little longer. I need some time to convince myself, you understand?"

Faced with Alastor's patience and silence, you carefully considered your words and spoke hesitantly.

"I'm just a little confused and lost, and a little tired, I'm just..."

……

"But sweetheart, no one will force you to express yourself in any particular way."

Just as your voice was almost inaudible, Alastor suddenly interrupted you.

"...?"

You were taken aback for a moment, and then looked up at the old gentleman with some surprise.

When he interrupted you, he didn't look down at you, but calmly lifted his eyelids to look into the endless distance.

“Honey, just being yourself is enough.”

"Even if you don't sing... or even cook, I guess no one will say anything in the end."

"You should know that all souls are pitiful, foolish, and confused, because they never stop pursuing fame and fortune, enjoy spreading rumors, and are jealous of others. This is the flaw of humankind."

"All living things are foolish at some common moments."

"Everything, from the rising sun to the ant crushed into dust under someone's foot, will eventually die."

"But unlike the death of a star, the sun only shines on tiny creatures, because unlike a yellow dwarf star that always has a choice before it dies, ants can only do their best to survive."

"Even setting aside the temperature of fifteen million degrees Celsius—ha! Even if they were facing the soles of a human's feet, they wouldn't even have the right to choose to live."

“I didn’t expect you to have those thoughts… but you were just an ordinary human being in your previous life, so I don’t blame you for having such foolish ideas that desecrate your own power.”

"However, even if you've done so many horrific, even laughably stupid things..."

“You are still one of the most important members of Hell Inn—I think anyone, at least Shirley, would agree with that.”

Wendigo lowered his head to look at you quietly as he said this.

He frowned.

But you don't think Alastor was impatient, nor did you think you were whining.

Judging from his unusually intelligent mind, which is unlike that of a normal demon, he might simply think you're being overly anxious and wasting your talents.

You'd guess he thinks you're in Versailles.

After all, you possess unfathomable power, yet in the end you still complain about everything you encounter.

Just like the yellow dwarf star and ants in his words.

He can understand your emotions, but he can't understand your actions.

After all, if Alastor himself encountered everything you're struggling with, he'd probably just run it over...

Ultimately, as long as he's happy, that's all that matters.

Rather than lingering and hesitating around those boring things, he preferred to treat them as fun, or as the eve of a major reshuffle.

...To resolve or to mock suffering are merely small choices in the face of absolute power—just as the sun can decide to kill anything, including ants, with its fifteen million degrees of heat.

The only choice an ant can make, from beginning to end, is to decide its own life and the life and death of the weaker ones.

Your experiences, backgrounds, and personalities are completely different from Alastor's.

Obviously, most of the time you share the same views on objective things, but there are some things he can do that you can't, and some things you can do that he can't.

Although he was just a “minor” sinner lord, he could gouge out the eyes of all those who hated him, cut off the tongues of all those who loved to gossip, and make all those who disrespected him suffer more in life than in death.

He can laugh wildly and recklessly, or he can become a bloodthirsty, arrogant, and furious beast, or he can become a countdown to the death of others.

Some people describe him as a cruel, ruthless, and cunning tyrant, but this is only because his ultimate goal is always to please himself.

Apart from the person he probably hated to the core who bound him... Alastor, though twisted, lived without any pressure from himself.

Those who put pressure on him are either now crawling on his feet like insects, or their graves are overgrown with weeds.

He said those things to you simply because he didn't understand that you could have done something even more thorough than him, yet you still chose to hesitate and look back.

Utterly pathetic.

……

...Alright, you do find his words harsh and malicious, but they also contain some insightful reminders that hit the nail on the head.

You do want to do something that matches your abilities, like playing a match-3 puzzle game.

It's a pity you're not the protagonist of a wish-fulfillment novel; you don't want to clean up the mess you left behind after acting impulsively...

...And when you make this almost explicit metaphor, you think Alastor should have been quite restrained.

"..."

Thus, you look at Wendigo, who is carrying you on his journey with a somewhat complicated expression, and you repeatedly acknowledge and appreciate the elder's clear and concise speech and thoughts.

Haha, at least in terms of living a carefree and unrestrained life, you definitely envy him.