If love can be booked

Chapter 28 Workplace Cannon Fodder

The so-called career is nothing more than one word: busy! So busy that people forget to eat lunch and even forget the time to get off work. However, even if they work so hard, there is still endless anxiety deep in their hearts.

The workplace is like a battlefield filled with smoke. Although we are not really facing the threat of death, we must be careful and cautious in the words and deeds of our colleagues around us. Because no one can predict when and where they will become the innocent "cannon fodder".

There is no reason, just because you are just an insignificant employee. Originally, I just wanted a simple and pure life, hoping to live in harmony with the people around me. However, trivial things are everywhere in real life. Is this the price I have to pay for growth?

I clearly want to say that I don’t care, I clearly love but say that I don’t love, I clearly know that happiness is just a state of mind and cannot be forced, but I still selfishly want to embrace the rainbow.

How should we define a big company that we once wanted to work for? Is it just because of its wide range of businesses, generous benefits and high profits? However, the reality is far from that simple. In fact, this company has many business projects, but this also means that the work of the accounting department is extremely busy and challenging, and it is not as easy and pleasant as the outside world says. Even if you make a trivial mistake, the consequences are extremely serious. The loss is not just a few hundred yuan, but millions!

Because of an error in a report, I was severely criticized. After get off work, I went home, feeling heavy and sad, with a lot of grievances but nowhere to vent. The root of the problem was not me, but the source data was wrong, so why should all the responsibility be put on me? Is it because I am a newcomer? The more I thought about it, the more aggrieved I felt.

"Hello." Lin Xiaoxi's voice came from the other end of the phone, cheerful than ever before.

Things have been good recently because someone has loomed in my life.

"Xiao Xi, tell me, why can't people be perfect?" Shen Wanning sighed softly, with a hint of helplessness in her tone. Why is it that no matter what we do, we can never achieve perfection? How great it would be if we could.

"If I could do everything perfectly, maybe there wouldn't be so many criticisms, right?" "If I could do everything perfectly every time, maybe I wouldn't suffer those ruthless denials anymore, right?" She thought silently, her heart full of bitterness.

The desire for affirmation was so strong, but it was never satisfied. Shen Wanning felt exhausted by the repeated denials. She even began to doubt whether she still had the courage to move forward. What else was worth pursuing? She couldn't find the answer.

Lin Xiaoxi felt the sorrow in Shen Wanning's words and couldn't help feeling a little sad. She knew that as an office worker, life was not so easy and might not be as beautiful as she imagined.

"Wan Ning, did something happen?" Lin Xiaoxi asked with concern.

Shen Wan Ning quickly shook her head and pretended to be calm and replied: "It's okay, I just think too much."

Tears are falling because I really don’t want to be brave anymore.

"Wan Ning, do you know? Even if we may encounter all kinds of unpleasant things in life, as long as we maintain the right attitude, mistakes are no longer mistakes, just like you and me, our friendship." Mistakes? How to define right and wrong? In fact, this is as confusing as love.

When he (she) has you in his (her) heart, everything you do is right, even if it is wrong; but when you are no longer in his (her) heart, everything you do is zero.

"I always believe that we can all eventually reap our own happiness, but it may come a little later." She knew and understood her unwillingness to cause trouble to others, but as a friend, she couldn't bear to see her always alone.

"Yeah." She nodded slightly in response, fearing that the strength she had accumulated with great difficulty would collapse in an instant.

I have always believed that happiness will eventually come to me, and I also firmly believe that I can have a happy life like you. But why can't I see its approaching steps? Are you walking too fast or am I walking too slow?

You once swore to me that the season when camellias were in full bloom was a beautiful time that belonged exclusively to us. But you left, leaving me alone at the starting point. Later, I learned that, in fact, there are also...fallen leaves in summer. I gently picked up the withered yellow leaf, and tears instantly blurred my eyes. In a trance, I seemed to see that familiar figure who had never left.

"I'll come to see you this weekend." It seemed like we hadn't seen each other for a long, long time.

"It's better not to come. I know you are doing your best to prepare for the midterm exam. I don't have anything to do here." In fact, it really doesn't matter. I will try my best to adjust my state and will not let myself fall into sadness and unable to extricate myself. I will not let my wild thoughts add to my troubles.

My friend, as long as I know that you are well, I am satisfied. It is a great happiness for me to hear your voice and chat with you. I never ask for much.

"Yes, students nowadays are under too much pressure." Today's children do have a very hard life. Not only do they have to attend various interest classes after school, but the schedule is also very tight, leaving them with almost no free time. It's not like us back then, when we could play as much as we wanted after class, and even play with mud together.

"Every now and then I have to face an exam, which reminds me of the time when we prepared for the exams together." Looking back to when we were in college, we rarely devoted ourselves to classroom learning. It was only when the final exams came that we would treat review as preview and chew over those boring textbooks word by word.

Although the slogan of quality education has been mentioned repeatedly, compulsory education still occupies a dominant position at present. The blind pursuit of book knowledge will undoubtedly stifle the talents and intelligence of some students.

"Yes, now that we have grown up, we no longer need to rely on textbooks, but the wordless book of reality has become more difficult and obscure." The so-called reality is not that we choose to be pragmatic, but that the cruel reality is like this. Don't cherish empty ideals. After all, once you are out of touch with reality, any beautiful vision will be easily shattered like a bubble.

"Don't think too much. Without reality as a reference, how can we know whether we are really alive in the world?" Face the reality! Because it is an objective existence that cannot be changed, I must learn to be more tenacious and strong, and declare to life that I will never give up.

"That's right, reality is too cruel and ruthless." After entering the society, the harsh reality made me feel lost and at a loss. For a while, I didn't know where to go. Maybe it's because I haven't done enough...

"Okay, don't think too much, bye." If you always think too much, then it seems that there is really nothing worth lingering on and remembering in life. No one can predict what tomorrow will be like. Maybe it will be better, but maybe it will be worse.

"Okay, bye." The moment I hung up the phone, my mood didn't improve at all. Tears flowed out of my eyes like a flood, slid down my cheeks, and dripped onto the back of my hand drop by drop.

Tears, silently telling the pain and sorrow in my heart. They long for the simplest and purest affirmation and recognition, but why is it so difficult? All I want is a sincere recognition!

How many times have I been denied and rejected? I used to think I was calm and didn't care about it anymore, but now I realize that I'm not as strong and fearless as I thought. I long for you to be by my side, to give me strength and support; but the reality is that you are always absent.

I have told myself countless times that I must learn to be strong and face all difficulties and challenges, but at this moment, I feel unprecedentedly fragile and helpless. In fact, what I really need is just a tiny affirmation and a tiny recognition.

I long for a warm home, a safe haven where my tired soul can rest. However, is Chu Haoyang really the one who can give me a sense of belonging? I once firmly believed that he was, and he always was.

Am I wrong to insist on this or am I too demanding?

As the night deepened, the moonlight that had accompanied me silently also quietly disappeared. It was pitch black and silent all around, as if I was the only one left in the world. In this endless darkness, I couldn't help but begin to doubt my choices and decisions.

The dark night sky, only a few stars are twinkling

I walk alone, wandering aimlessly, using the night to express my melancholy

Looking at the moonlight with tears in my eyes, it only adds a hazy feeling to the stars

Can't tell the difference between the charm of the moon and the etherealness of the stars

Am I being too demanding?

Maybe, it's too late, everything is over

When I can't sort out my thoughts

I can't forget, how can I forget, forget the hidden secret

But I can't remember the happiness and sweetness I once had.

Did I forget? Maybe.

Isn't it a kind of happiness to be able to forget?

Forgetting is also a kind of beauty, but it has a unique sad rhythm

From then on, I fell in love with forgetting

I also fell in love with its unique beauty